OR vs. AND
Stretching conjunctions to make the point that even in a culture of divisive "Or" choices, "And" can help us find common ground
We are people of Or.
Consider the type of questions we ask each other:
“Do you like vanilla Or chocolate?”
“Would you rather visit Hawaii Or Alaska?”
“Are you an early bird Or a night owl?”
“Are you a Republican Or a Democrat?”
“Do you drive a Ford Or a Chevy Or a Dodge Or one of those foreign cars?”
Or is a word that helps us to categorize. It helps us make decisions. It’s a good word.
But it is also a misleading word that can get us into trouble.
If we are not careful Or confuses us by simplifying complex things and complicating simple things:
“Is killing people good Or bad?”
Or can be used to reinforce divisions and foment tribalism:
“Do you agree with me Or with those idiots?”
We live in a culture of Or. It is a culture driven by revolutionary technologies whose united purpose seems to be segregating humanity into smaller and smaller demographic units, utilizing bits of them and bytes of their data to foster isolation, incite constant fear-based consumption, and reduce life to a nonstop series of Or decisions.
Or can be a good word, but it can also supplant another good word: And.
And also helps us categorize, but instead of looking for differences like Or, And is driven by the search for common ground. And helps us make decisions without forcing us into dichotomies.
I admit that I am biased by my history to prefer the word And to the word Or.
I received my education in private school, public school, And home school. I have worked in both blue And white-collar jobs in both for-profit And non-profit sectors. I have lived in the Eastern United States And the Western United States, in what some consider the North And in what some consider the South. I like vanilla And chocolate, want to go to Hawaii And Alaska, like staying up late And getting up early, and have voted for both Republicans And Democrats And other parties’ candidates And often on the same ballot, and I have owned and driven Ford And Chevy And Dodge And foreign.
Give me a choice between Or and And, and I will pick And almost every time.
I can’t be alone in this preference. Are there others in this crazy, polarized Or world who, like me, want to see people come together over the core they have in common rather than divide over the fringes that they don’t? I’m fed up, and maybe you are too.
If so, I invite you to join me in adopting the following Manifesto:
We, the people, being sick of teapot tempests, manufactured tribalism, social media manipulation, conflict culture, coercion by force, and the teaching of hate hereby refuse to conform any longer to arbitrary divisions based on non-essential differences fraudulently passed off as the meaning of existence and the foundation of reality. Instead, we will gladly cross boundaries, extend grace and kindness, and love our fellow humans the best we know how, even when we do not agree or approve of one another’s conclusions, positions, or lifestyles.
Furthermore, we insist that it is consistent and appropriate and important to befriend people who vote like we do And who vote differently than we do, to cultivate both breadth And depth in our relationships, and to admit the possibility that we might be wrong And they might be wrong And we might be right And they might be right.
Additionally, we will refrain from condensing complex humans into mental cardboard cutouts based on their preference for the things we don’t prefer, resist assuming complete understanding of othe people based on their shopping habits, and reject any attitudes that indicate that anyone is worthy of less consideration than anyone else.
We also affirm that it is possible to like both vanilla And chocolate, coffee And tea, Ford And Chevy, Star Wars And Star Trek, country And pop, and both sides of any other false dichotomy the advertising engine running the attention economy has attempted to institute.
In short, we choose to pursue a world in which And remains an option.
Resist the Machine,1 engage with the real people around you,2 and love like your life depends on it…because it does.3
Check out Paul Kingsnorth for more.
Check out Ruth Gaskovski for more.
Well done!